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August 02, 2004
فی فی جون، بيا بريم پاری!
فی فی جون، بيا بريم پاری!
امروز رفته بودم آژانس مسافرتی که ببينم می شه اين بليتم رو عوض کنم يا
نه. تا حالا زياد توی آژانس مسافرتی ايرانی نرفته بودم: بچه که بودم
مامانم همه کارهای مسافرتی رو انجام می داد، از موقعی هم که رفتم، هميشه
بليتهام رو از اون سر خريدم. خلاصه با جوّ آشنا نبودم. همه هی در مورد
"اوکی" کردن صحبت می کنند و "بليت وان وی" (با واو فارسی!) می خواهند و
"ريترن تيريپشون" رو می خواهند در میلان "رست" داشته باشن!
واااااااااااااااااای! حالا اين جدا از اونهاييه که می خوان برن آنتاليا و
همچين قيافه گرفته اند که انگار اليزابت تيلور داره می ره موناکو! بابا،
آنتاليا يک مخلوطيه از فريدونکنار و تبريز! اين ترکها هم خوب دارند مملکت
خودشون رو قالب می کنند و اين چندرقاز پول ملت رو هم می ريزند توی کيسه
خودشون! حالا ما هی سازمان "گردشگری" بزنيم (آدم فکر می کنه وظيفه اين
سازمان گرداندن و سرگيجه دادن به ملته، که البته دور هم نيست!).
نشسته بودم که يکدفعه روگوشه روپوش خانمی که تازه از در وارد شده بود به
چشمم اومد. از اين روپوش کوتاههايی بود که جديدا" بين دخترها مد شده و
بقول يکی از دوستانمون، بايد اسمش رو گذاشت :«بيکينی اسلامی»! نتيجتا" به
فکرم رسيد که طرف بايد بين شانزده تا بيست و دو سال داشته باشه. با ديدن
روسری و آرايش و طرز درست کردن مو، ديگه مطمئن شدم.
اما وقتی خانم از کنار در به داخل اومد و تونستم خارج از برق آفتاب
ببينمش، ديدم حدود 45- تا 50 سال بايد از عمر شريفشون گذشته باشه. حالا چه
اشکال داره؟ خلاصه، ايشون تا از در وارد شدن، با صدای مليح و در حالی که
بصورت مدل جديد، "ر" ها رو مثل بچه لس آنجلسی هايی که تازه دوساله رفتن
"خارج" تلفظ می کرد، سراغ آقای فلانی رو گرفت. حالا آقای فلانی مدير دفتر
بود (با موهای مدل "قرضی" يا "سيم کشی" که معرف حضورتون هست) و با ديدن
ايشون، از جا پريد و اومد بالاسر خانمی که داشت دنبال بليت من می گشت و
شروع کرد دستور دادن برای بليت خانم (بقول بچه ها: اند سرويس!!). ما هم
زبان در کام گرفته، صمٌ بکم نشستيم که ببينيم آقا ول می کن يا نه. طوری شد
که خود خانمی که مسوول بود، صداش در آمد که بابا من مشتری دارما!
در همين زمان، خانم هم مشغول صحبت بلند بلند با رئيس در مورد ويزاهاش بود.
می گفت که ويزام «مولتيه» (بروزن لوطيه!)، و قراره برم انگليس و بعد هم
پاری!!! دهه! چی شد؟ پاری؟ حالا ما هم می دونيم پاريس رو فنارسوی ها می گن
پاری، (البته می گن "پَغی"!)، اما در زبان مادر مرده ما، اسم شهر پاريسه!
در اين بين، خانم در آمده که من برای ويزای انگليس چندان مشکلی نداشتم (با
لهجه "شيک" بخونيد، يا لهجه "منيج" توی سريال نقطه چين...!)، اما ويزای
پاری خيلی سخت بود، انگار می خواستن چی کار کنن، ناراحت شدم، گفتم اصلا"
می رم ويزای فرانسه می گيرم، همشون شينگنن ديگه!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
آخر سر از من پرسيد شما هم ويزای مولتی دارين؟ من هم گفتم نه بابا، من
هربار که می رم انگليس، پناهنده می شم!!!
Posted by Khodadad at August 2, 2004 10:45 AM
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Against whom?
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The feminine mystique has succeeded in burying millions of American women alive.
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Language is a form of human reason and has its reasons which are unknown to man.
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The liberty of the individual must be thus far limited; he must not make himself a nuisance to other people.
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Art is ruled uniquely by the imagination.
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Man is physically as well as metaphysically a thing of shreds and patches, borrowed unequally from good and bad ancestors, and a misfit from the start.
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During the first assault of passion as under a thunder stroke the sentiments of virtue may yield for a moment.
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Science may be described as the art of systematic over-simplification.
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There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as 'moral indignation,' which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.
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I maintain that today many an inventor, many a diplomat, many a financier is a sounder philosopher than all those who practice the dull craft of experimental psychology. by online poker
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