ارزيابی شتابزده: Archives

February 09, 2006

شخصی

امشب يک اتفاق بدی برام پيش اومد. مطلبی که مدتهاست نگرانشم و فکر کنم امروز به خودم ثابت شد که نگرانيم به جا بوده.

رفته بودم خونه يکی از دوستام، توی يک جمع کوچک. يکی از معدود ايرانی هايی که من اينجا می شناسم و باهاشون رفت و آمد دارم. دور هم نشسته بوديم و حرف می زديم، اما من يک احساسی داشتم که بقيه با من راحت نيستند. من همون کارهايی رو انجام می دادم و حرف هايی رو می زدم که در جمع های دوستان ديگم می زنم، اما بين اين گروه ايرانی ها، همه چيزم به نظر عجيب ميومد. نه من راحت بودم و نه اطرافيانم.

مدتهاست که از اين موضوع می ترسم که ديگه ايرانی نباشم. هيچوقت درست و حسابی بلد نبودم در جمع های ايرانی (حتی در ايران) رفتار کنم و هميشه يک کمی عجيب بوده. اما احساس می کنم که کم کم دارم تبديل می شم به يک موجودی که هيچ چيز خاصی نيست. نه ايرانی، نه فرنگی. خودم هم موندم که چيم و کيم.

خيلی بده که من بين يک گروه ايرانی هم سن خودم نمی تونم جا بگيرم و راحت باشم.

ببخشيد که يک دلمشغولی شخصی رو در ملاء عام مطرح کردم. راستش يک کمی دلم گرفته.

Posted by Khodadad at February 9, 2006 01:27 PM

Comments

نه احتمالا از وبلاگت خبر داشتن!

Posted by: نام at February 9, 2006 02:04 PM

نیمیم ز ترکستان نیمیم ز فرغانه

دوست نادیده دلگیر مباش که در این جهان-وطن کلی مثل خودتند

Welcome to the club

Posted by: شهریار at February 9, 2006 11:20 PM

سلام وقتي اين پستت رو خوندم يه حس همزاد پنداري بهم دست داد و با خودم فكر كردم بد نيست يه چيزي برات بنويسم تا بدوني اين حس مي تونه يه حس مشترك باشه (البته من به اندازه تو خارج از ايران نبودم).
يه جيز ديگه اينكه اسم من واقعا واقعا فرغانه اس.
يه موقع فكر ديگه اي نكني.حقيقتا اولش وقتي صفحه كامنتت رو باز كردم از ديدن نيم بيت مولوي كه شهريار برات نوشته بود شكه شدم و يادم رفت چي ميخواستم برت بنويسم!!!!

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Khodadad jaan, in moshkele irani bodan yaa nabodan to nist! in moshkele maa iraniast ke nemitonam baa kasi ke andishmande raahat ertebaat bargharaar konim

Posted by: aashena at February 10, 2006 05:40 PM

هويت اونقدر هم چيز حادي نيست!مي توني فرض كني تو هم "يه جور " ايراني هستي ..جور بدي هم كه نيستي واقعاَ!

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Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger...

Posted by: Elias Ward at November 12, 2006 06:35 PM

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages...

Posted by: Jovany Guzman at November 13, 2006 12:23 AM

The Rolling Stones cancel a gig in Hawaii and postpone other tour dates as Mick Jagger suffers throat troubles...

Posted by: Alijah Benner at November 13, 2006 12:23 AM

Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81...

Posted by: Santiago Lebron at November 13, 2006 06:06 AM

Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81...

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Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81...

Posted by: Stephon Breen at November 17, 2006 06:45 AM

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...

Posted by: Ali Osullivan at November 17, 2006 12:09 PM

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...

Posted by: Ali Osullivan at November 17, 2006 12:10 PM

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice...

Posted by: Brandon Cheng at November 17, 2006 05:30 PM

The first stage of a �150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...

Posted by: Branden Epperson at November 22, 2006 06:07 PM

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year...

Posted by: Earl Shepard at November 22, 2006 06:07 PM

Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields...

Posted by: Gilberto Reynoso at November 23, 2006 12:34 PM

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice...

Posted by: Allan Johns at November 23, 2006 07:37 PM

Social networking site MySpace is to block users from uploading copyrighted music to its pages...

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Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron...

Posted by: Gael Rash at November 24, 2006 02:36 PM

Jonathan Ross is dubbed "risque" by Ofcom but not in breach of rules over an interview with David Cameron...

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Colombia's vice president is "baffled" by Kate Moss's success following cocaine allegations...

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Alec Baldwin asks for his voice to be removed from an "unfair" documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger...

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Madonna says she may adopt another child from abroad following her proposed adoption of a Malawian boy...

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TV host Oprah Winfrey gives audience members $1,000 (�526) each to donate to a charitable cause...

Posted by: Heriberto Baird at November 25, 2006 10:05 PM

A musical about the witches from The Wizard of Oz breaks West End box office records, its producers say...

Posted by: Victor Gragg at November 26, 2006 03:31 PM

Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year...

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Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year...

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Doctor Who takes three prizes at the National Television Awards in a repeat of its success last year...

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London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US...

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London-born rapper Sway is to be honoured at the BET Hip-Hop awards in the US...

Posted by: Darrin Bivens at December 5, 2006 07:32 AM

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition...

Posted by: Jessie Benge at December 5, 2006 07:32 AM

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition...

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Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness...

Posted by: Taylor Fortier at December 5, 2006 07:30 PM

William Styron, whose Holocaust novel Sophie's Choice became a film and an opera, has died, aged 81...

Posted by: Tommy Dean at December 6, 2006 02:02 AM

Record company EMI sign a deal with the estate of crooner Dean Martin to use the singer's likeness...

Posted by: Frank Dulaney at December 6, 2006 08:27 AM

The first stage of a �150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...

Posted by: Simeon Weston at December 6, 2006 02:34 PM

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition...

Posted by: Brady Ellsworth at December 6, 2006 06:09 PM

Singer George Michael lends the piano on which John Lennon wrote Imagine to an anti-war exhibition...

Posted by: Brady Ellsworth at December 6, 2006 06:10 PM

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...

Posted by: Kelvin Banuelos at December 6, 2006 09:00 PM

Pioneering screenwriter Nigel Kneale, best known for the Quatermass TV serials and films, dies aged 84...

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Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81...

Posted by: Dillan Titus at December 6, 2006 09:10 PM

The Rolling Stones postpone a show in the US to allow singer Sir Mick Jagger time to rest his voice...

Posted by: Grady Pickens at December 6, 2006 09:10 PM

Veteran actor William Franklyn, known for voicing the 1960s Schweppes TV adverts, dies aged 81...

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The first stage of a �150m investment in regional museums is praised for boosting visitor numbers...

Posted by: Bailey Carnes at December 6, 2006 10:06 PM

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February 09, 2006

شخصی

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