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February 22, 2005
Social Psychology of Groups
One of the main features of the "Western" Civilisation, one that I keep on noticing without meaning to, is the prominance of groups, clubs, and other ready-made forms of social acquintance.
It is rather curious that the ideas of Social Clubs, Secret Societies, and other similar groups have occured in the West, but you seldom see them in the rest of the world. Sophisticated civilisations like China, India or Iran never had such things, outside the straight forward boundaries of politics and religion.
The first place I noticed this was when I came to America and discovered the institution of Hellenic Fraternities (and Sororities). I was amazed by their traditions (and I believe everyone is!), but I was further confused about their fucntion. When they told me that it was a social institution that helped people "find friends", I thought of it as odd.
Well, in my experience, I did not find my friends in any groups, and I was never bound to call the people with whom I was in a "group" (say, the social group called High School) my friends. I thought why don't the people just go to classes and hang out in the university and just find friends that way?
Over the years, I have realised how the system works, without being able to put my finger on the reason for it. It seems that people are very careful with their "personal" spaces and are too afraid of someone "disturbing" their lonelyness. Since they seem to have a hard time dealing with unpredictable human reactions, they prefer to use a pool of hand-selected "like-minded" people in order to find "friends." This might be the reason why you have the concepts of "Golfing/tennis/skiing/hiking budies" and "study partners" and "driniking budies" etc.
At least in my case, my tennis partners and drinking budies and study partners and the people I spent sunday afternoons watching TV with and also invite over for dinner party have been all the same people. They drop by my place without calling and arranging for an "appropriate" time, I call them when I need them, and we are part of each-others lives.
I did try to modify myself and fit with the norms of friendship here, but I have failed utterly. I am unadaptable in this case, and I can only be friends with people whom I have not met in a social club or a Fraternity. Groups scare me!
P.S.: Needless to say, I am not a sociologist or psychologist. The above is just the result of a conversation about fraternities with a friend, one of those that do drop by without calling!
Posted by Khodadad at 12:46 AM | Comments (5)
February 19, 2005
"Free" Gift
I have certain missions for myself in life. They might sound useless or pointless to some, but to me, they are important. One of the things I am very sensitive about is language and how people use it. I am infamous for being nitpicky in Persian, and I guess I am no better in English!
One of the things that bothers me are the expressions that people keep on using, and they are not only semantically wrong, but also logically annoying. You all have seen the expression on official letters "As per your request...". Why as AND per? Per your request, or as you requested!
Once I went to buy a mobile phone, and after reviewing the available choices, I was told by the the sales-person (a young man right out of highschool): "Whenever you decide to buy the phone sir, please come back and I will situate you with a good phone!". Pardon me?
There is one expression on which I have declared war a long time ago, and no salesperson using it will escape my attention! The expression in question is "Free Gift". Whoever came up with this expression was probably coming from a very cynical land. Gift by definition is free! When was the last time you saw someone giving a gift to another and asking for the costs? The compound is annoying, redundant, and makes you think of all those unpleasant junk mail you receive everyday in your mailbox.
I am feeling like Henry Higgins: "Why can't the English set an example for the people whose English is painful to your ears?"
Posted by Khodadad at 03:23 PM | Comments (4)
February 09, 2005
"I know best!"
What I am writing here might be a universal human trait, or it might be just limited to some people. There are many Iranians who complain about the behaviour of other Iranians as if they themselves are from another planet. I am, however, ready to admit that I might have exactly the same character flaw I am criticising here. The reason I am singling out Iranians here is because I am more familiar with that behaviour, although the same thing might be seen in other communities.
I am specifically refering to the behaviour of Iranians in university classes and professional lectures. Anyone who has been in a lecture whose subject is somehow related to Iran, has seen an Iranian that will raise his/her hand in order to ask a question. These "questions", however, turn out to be lengthy speeches, outlining the ideas of the "questioner", ideas that are usually at odds with the speaker and try to present the "questioner's" superior knowledge of the subject. They do not add anything to the discussion other than boring people and making the "questioner" sound like a pumpous, under-read idealogue.
Particularly in lectures about politics and history, subjects on which all Iranians apparently are born with a PhD (!!!), this episode is common. The questioner, usually someone who is not in the field, gives a long talk based on their readings in the highschool or in the latest popular magazine, and they think that they are presenting fresh ideas that people in the academia have not heard about.
Sometimes, when some people politely remind them of the fact that the information based on which they are arguing have been conclusively discredited, they answer by saying that "academia is acting exclusive, and when it does not like something, it discredits them." They agnore the fact that this "acadmia" is also made up of real people who read those popular magazines, PLUS the unpopular Journals that other people don't read!
The reason I am writing this is the incident that happened tonight. A friend of mine who is a professor of Ancient History and a well-known scholar of pre-Islamic Iran, is teaching a class on the History of Zoroastrianism. Most of the students in the class are Americans who are either directly interested in the subject or just curious about an exotic religion!
Among the students are two Zoroastrian Iranians. These two, armed by bad translations of the Avesta and bachelor degrees in psychology and philosophy, constantly ask "questions". Their speeches last for at least 10 minutes, during which, by relaying on what they have learned as children and their "new found" awareness of their religion, they try to discredit the professor. They intrupt him, shouting at the American students that the professor is mis-representing their religion.
When the professor tells them that he is not teaching a theology class, rather a class in the history of a religion and his quotations are from the Avesta itself, and he is just trying to explain the historical background, they still do not listen. They in fact did not stop until one of the other students turned back and told them to stop wasting the class time. Then, the professor told them that this is his lecture, not theirs, and invited them outside the class and had a talk with them, saying that they are wasting the time of other students. How immature and ignorant one has to be not to understand that?
After this, they still kept on asking "questions", and they would always start with "in my opinion...". I was tempted to tell them that no one asked for their opinion. If they are so opinionated on the subject and so knowledgable, why don't they grace us all by starting their own classes and guiding us all to the true way?
Someone should ask people like these why they even bother taking the class? If you are so knowledgable about the subject, why are you wasting your time and money? You already know everything and without having studied anything, already know more about the ideas in the Avesta and seem to be closer to the Prophet Zarathushtra than his own son! Your knowledge of a complicated language like Avestan, on which five scholars are spending their lives, is already more complete than someone who has studied Sanskrit and Avestan and Old Persian for twenty years, so why do you come to this class? If you are so grand and you are so knowledgable about everything, why do you lower yourself to the level of us mortals who are struggeling to learn?
This is the ever repeating subject. Always trying to show off our meager knowledge and our reading, always trying to prove we know more than everyone else, always trying to discredit those who spend their lives on learning something, constantly trying to bring others down.
When will we learn?
Posted by Khodadad at 11:52 PM | Comments (3)
February 06, 2005
Energy Conservation
This is not a piece about trying to solve world energy problems or criticising the consumerist society, it is just about the fact that people are lazy and careless!
My good friend David is very passionate about the nature apparently! His blog entries are about recycling and global warming. As a person who has been habitually interested in conservation, I am constantly involved with the subject.
I am not sure whether it comes from growing-up in a country during the war and not having electricity for 4 hours a day, or maybe from living in Europe, but I am just very sensitive about wasting electricity! Each evening, my roommate goes to his bed, leaving on the lights in the livingroom and kitchen and everywhere else he can find! Each night, I get up and turn them all off, and the pattern has been repeating. I have no complaints, maybe he just is forgetful!
However, last night, I was going out with two friend of mine, and I went to their apartments to pick them up. Both of them left ALL of their lights on, even the ones in their bathrooms and on their desks! I started turning them off, and they asked me why. My answer was "well, to save energy", and they said "the energy bill is part of the rental money, we don't pay any bills, what does it matter?!"
The answer was a little weird to my ears. So what, I said to myself. Just because we don't pay extra for our electricity, does it mean that we have to waste it? Is charging you extra the only way to make you turn off the lights?
This is probably a pointless complaint, but it does bother me. Wasting energy, even when you don't pay for it, is not a good idea.
Posted by Khodadad at 02:50 PM | Comments (2)
February 01, 2005
Iranians for Peace
Since some people have started to brush their Blogs of War, an Iranian has been smart enough to start this beautiful Iranians for Peace weblog.
I am much honoured to have a piece there. Please everyone, do write something and show your opposition to this war-in-preparation. The least it can do is that it would echo our ideas in the web and prevent obvious lies like this to be the only representative of us in the internet.
Posted by Khodadad at 11:10 PM | Comments (2)